Warning: My imagination rocks!
“I’m going out pacing in the backyard for a bit”, I told my housemate, while clutching my book and heading for the back door.
“Pacing?” she asked, confused.
“Yes, pacing. I have discovered that it is easier to meditate if I give my conscious mind something to do, so it doesn’t continually distract me from my visualisations”.
“Oh, okay then”.
And thus began my first day of conscious, walking meditations. I also find it particularly good for helping me to stay in my body, rather than drifting away like I am well renown for. (What can I say? – being in a human body terrifies me oftentimes).
My task for today- practicing exercises from a book called “Psychic Protection” by William Bloom.
I paced as I read, treading carefully barefoot around the backyard, while noticing the pulse in each place in my body that I focused on.
I practiced some breathing exercises while pacing slowly, becoming aware of each breath filling and exhaling from my lungs.
Why was I so frightened?
Had all the stress and bother of being trapped into a muggle’s life as a struggling university student affected me that much? I felt knocked off centre for most of the time over the past few months, with all the mundane difficulties I had been facing. Now I feel like I am finding my centre… my “groove” again.
I built myself a psychic bubble…
“There are definitely times when it is appropriate to be able to protect ourselves from external vibrations. Sometimes people are sceptical about this and say, ‘Doesn’t this mean that you are encouraging people to escape reality and to withdraw from relationships?’ My reply to this is that life is not easy. There are times when we are overwhelmed or need some extra space. At these times we should be free to use strategies that will make life easier for us- and then we can deal more effectively with what is happening. When it is raining, we wear raincoats; this does not mean that we are soft and avoiding reality. It is sensible and we take them off when it stops raining”.
– William Bloom (1999. Psychic Protection p.41).
When I once again felt safe enough to really be me, I unfolded my etheric fairy wings and extended them outward, until- ouch- they hit the wall. “I felt that!” I had to step forwards. I had forgotten how big they were!
The last time they were this ‘unfurled’ was during a psychic counselling session with Jacinta, earlier in the year. We had, (at that time- temporarily) uncovered some reasons why I didn’t feel safe (funny how now I don’t remember them). During this counseling process I reconnected with and spoke with my inner child-like fairy. I remember telling her that it was safe now, that I no longer had to remain bound by fears from the past. During this exercise I stood in a corner of my living room, clutching tissues and crying. (Don’t worry- that is often standard practice when having a body-psychotherapy session with Jacinta).
Something inside me suddenly shifted, and once I felt safe, I was amazed to see and feel a pair of giant silvery-light wings unfolding! They felt so real I had to move out of the corner so they could unfurl the whole way.
“Oooh fairy wings!” exclaimed my counsellor. (Jacinta is psychic and extremely well-attuned to her “extra sensory” abilities).
“They are so beautiful!” she exclaimed gleefully.
“Ok, so you can see them too? Oh good, it’s not just me then…”
Back to the present…
Here I was, walking between the worlds in my suburban backyard; wearing a giant pair of astral fairy wings and feelin’ kind of groovy.
I walked up to the hedge which my new housemate had recently butchered into “neatness” a few hours prior.
I had to step backward, because I could feel the plant’s pain. Perhaps this is why I have avoided coming back here for so long, and had chosen instead to get distracted by numerous mundane dramas in the physical world. If you felt as sensitive as I did, you would probably be scared to be fully present in your body too!
There are certain advantages to being between the worlds though- certain things I find easier to do here than while dealing with the distractions of ‘muggledom’.
I raised my hand -it was all shimmery- and I swept a blessing of green healing light across the hedge, to speed its healing and new growth. I “saw” some of the little folk (-dare I say it- FAIRIES!-) weeping, then I noticed clusters of tiny orange berries, upon which played -for lack of a better phrase- ‘baby fae folk’. I said ‘hi’ to them (as you do).
I realised that I had not been back here for some time (has it really been over a year?)
I closed my eyes and put out a psychic plea.
“I need guidance. Please help me”.
I immediately saw in my mind the image of a book which I had picked up years earlier in a second hand bookstore, but which I had yet never read. I received my answer in the form of a sudden inner “knowingness” that I needed to find and read this book. In my mind I was shown exactly which box it was in, amidst the many boxes stacked beneath my house.
“Thankyou for your assistance”.
I found the box I had seen in my mind’s eye and upon opening it up, sure enough, there, sitting in the exact place within the box as I had envisioned it-
‘A Witch’s Guide to Faery Folk’ by Edain McCoy.
P.S. You may think I am totally crazy, but I’m not sure I care anymore. I obviously have many friends who are just as crazy because they can see and speak with fairies too. I’m not alone. As you might expect it has been very hard talking about this with many people, and therefore I normally don’t. Last night, I told someone that I stopped caring what people thought of me a looong time ago. But perhaps this is not so true?
I have since realised that all I can really ever be is myself. I deserve better than to live a life of fear. It can’t be healthy to keep covering up who I really am- especially to myself! Even if speaking of these experiences mean that I finally scare all the boys away and shall be single forever, then so be it! Better to be true to myself than to live a lie.