Pre-production: Last week before filming…
Oh the joys of pre-production! I am the production manager (aka paperwork bitch) but I don’t feel like I’m doing a terribly good job of it. Production managers are supposed to be the organised ones. Have you seen the state of my room lately?
We are supposed to be concerned with practicalities… dude, how freaking practical is it to take a week away from work (when most of us are broke) and other uni subjects during one of the busiest times of semester to shoot a student film in the middle of fraking no-where? It’s not practical. And for the record it wasn’t my idea and I had to reluctantly agree if I was to pass this annoying-ass subject. Oh, the joys of groupwork! Of course, groupwork in a uni assignment context is very different from how an actual film set is run (I know, I used to work on a couple). For starters, when you’re a student you don’t need to think about such matters as insurance and liability…
“Oh, its ok if we ask our actors to balance precariously on the edge of this slippery embankment…”. Duuuude!
I nearly cried when I received a 12 page shot list from the director, from which I was to write up the production schedule… bearing in mind this was for a three-minute film. I will never look at a script in the same way again, and I now have a better appreciation for how scripts are chosen for production.
Three days later, the shooting schedule was completed to the best of my ability- most of it by “guesstimation”, fuelled by late nights and lots of caffeine. The day before shooting commenced, I was informed that it was all wrong and was asked if I could possibly tweak it. Um no, I have other assignments to finish by the morning and am already running on no sleep. Who keeps to the written schedule on a film set anyway? Well maybe on professional film sets they don’t have four major projects they are trying to work on at the same time… and maybe they get paid.
Wednesday 3rd Oct: Day of shoot #1
I awake with a sore throat (so I think) and reluctantly drag my huge-ass overnight bag onto the uni bus. Getting away takes longer than expected (it usually does). We drive through the back streets of Brisbane searching for a service station which isn’t out of petrol, before getting lost while figuring how the frak to get back onto the highway. At one stage it looks like we are driving into the brewery, but it turns out the girls are really after the petrol station next door.
The ordeal must have stressed our director, Sass, as she is drinking alcohol already and we haven’t even left the city
After a few missed turn-offs and embarrassing U-turns, our convoy finally arrive at destination: Ravensbourne, aka. The MIDDLE OF FRAKING NO-WHERE.
The crew set up inside an old abandoned grainshed (aaah I never want to hear the word “grainshed” again!) It is full of shit which makes our noses twitch, but I am told it is THE perfect location.
Thursday 4th Oct: Day#2
Sick as a dog, AND stuck in the middle of fraking nowhere with no mobile reception or chemists nearby. Niiice.
By now it has become apparent that there is a problem with my wisdom tooth. I mention this to a few people and they casually shrug it off. “Yeah, my tooth was sore too when it came through. You’ll be alright. It’s probably not infected. Here’s some Panadol. Now back to work, we need your help.”
As the day progresses so does the pain, until every few hours I need to disappear from the set and lie down. Not happy, Jan.
Thursday night: My requests for filming all on the one farm fall on deaf ears, and at ten o’ clock pm we drive an hour away to another farm, this one even more remote (but at least with mobile reception). We are now staying at a hundred year old haunted homestead with no electricity or plumbing. We only cease filming that night when the generator breaks and we are left in the dark with no power. (Thank GOD).
Friday 5th Oct: Day #3
Today I am in so much agony. They gave me painkillers but it’s making me a drowsy wreck… and my teeth are still sore. I help when I can. Hell, I even dragged myself out of bed at 4:30 am to film a sunrise that didn’t even work out. You can’t say I didn’t make the effort.
“Where is Melinda? We need her help.”
“Sorry guys I’m kind of incapacitated right now” (said as I am curled up on the floor in the foetal position, trying to rock the pain away).
All day I try to subtly make known that I think I need a doctor or dentist, or possibly both… only I don’t think they’re getting the hints. I wonder, If I die here, will they notice long enough to pause filming?
Friday night, back at Ravensbourne, the majority of group members seem quite pissed at me for not helping as much. Seriously, they should be lucky I was there to help at all. I probably should have been in hospital.
“We’re all getting up at 4am to film the sunrise in the morning and we will need your help tomorrow”.
Saturday 6th Oct: Day #4
The sunrise shoot is an astounding success!
… and I am on the first car-load out of there (thankfully some people with cars had to be back in Brisbane for work, so I was able to hitch a ride).
As soon as my housemate picks me up from my drop-off point (at this stage I was too far-gone to try for a bus), it’s first stop: medical emergency! On advice from a triage nurse over the phone, we headed toward the hospital. When we see the waiting time in the ER, we make other plans (well Narelle made other plans… I was truly out of it by this stage). Narelle took me to her surgery, which only charged $70 for concession card holders on a weekend. Of course I didn’t have $70, so I waited around for my mum to drive up from Ballina (three hours away) so she could pay for it.
High on pain medication, I waved to all the nice people in the waiting room and said hello to them all before almost fainting. Afterward, the nurse was very rude to me, as if she assumed that I was on these drugs for recreational use. I hate it when people assume that. I dislike drugs intensely and think that people who use them for “fun” are freaking knob-heads. The doctor was angry at me for not getting antibiotics sooner, and said that I was very lucky.
Two days, a trip to the dentist, and an x-ray later, I was recovering in my own bed at home, sleeping and being in pain and sleeping mostly.
How am I going to make up all this missed work?
